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Speak about a loaded subject that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on since millennium. Extramarital relationships can be loaded with evils, cause sorrow, and other problems. In addition you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety thing, finances, age difference, spiritual background, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.

For the intention of this post I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating married men.

Why do people have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are men seeking an affair. I am conserned typically though it is just the human state, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a several explanations I have run across.

Biologically we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and fun, and sex makes us escape the real world for a small period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone can switch the desire on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos humanity has erected against affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will overcome their fears and make them risk the rage of not only their family, but the public too. So why, what is the means?

Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is very good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your spouse or anyone else? You will need to reduce the threat you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.

No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest group, gigantic truly. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they are happy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to consider. Your finances are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay together besides love and sex.

Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them completing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An extramarital affair occasionally solves the trouble while keeping the marriage whole.

Avoidance, sadly this is a frequent groung I fear. One or the other, as a rule the man is sexually neglecting his woman for a tones of reasons. As a man I truly am thankful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them available to us males of romance, making them “milf wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.

Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be caring is disappeared, maybe it is the closeness, could be neglect. Maybe we have just developed distantly, our general concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Could be I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.

The number one reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.

There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.